Riddle me this….There are two ducks in front of a duck, two ducks behind a duck, and a duck in the middle. How many ducks are there?
Stay tuned for the answer and more when Batduck and Robin face the Riddler!
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Category Archives: Tales of the Ducks
Adventures of a Little Duck Named Luna
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Through the duck channels of the internet I have made friends with other rubber duck collectors. We formed an underground secret society for duck collectors on planet earth…Okay, not really..but it sounded exciting so I threw it in. The actual story is that I came upon a wonderful website for rubber duck collectors called Duckplanet when I began collecting rubber ducks. It is such a fun website and a very guilty pleasure of mine. I have bought and traded ducks with some of the folks and also met a few of them in person. Now to the point of this story…….I met a great gal on Duckplanet named Alena from the Pittsburgh area and she has a traveling duck named Luna. Luna had been cooped up for too long and needed a vacation…so she came to New York City. Here are the adventures (as seen through the eyes of Luna, of course).
After making her way to the Casa De Pato (translation-duck house AKA my apartment) in Astoria, NY (Queens). Luna decides to get out and see Times Square, but first she must take the subway:
Luna: “Like a streetcar…except more crowded and smelly.”
After about a 20 minute subway ride on the N train she found herself at the crossroads of the world…aka Times Square.
Luna: “I’m a little famished. How’s about I get somethin’ to eat.”
Luna (waddling up to a hotdog cart): “Is this stuff ‘city chicken’ ?”
Hot dog Vendor: “No, it’s street meat.”
Luna: “I’ll just have a can of pop and a hot dog, extra mustard and relish please.”
After having a street dog Luna continues to see the sites of Times Square.
Luna: “I can see the Great White Way from here. I should see a show…but what to see?”
Luna: “A show at the Marquis perhaps? I will have to come see it whenever I get some time.”
Luna: “Well this looks familliar! A little bit of Pennsylvania here in the big apple.”
….And after a tour of Times Square Luna is off to her next adventure. Where will she go? Stay tuned…
Luna: “Taaaaaaaaaaxi!!!!!”
Pirates on the Jersey Shore!
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On a hot summer day some pirates find themselves looking for treasure that had been buried on the Jersey shore. Much to their surprise someone had beat them to finding it! They were not amused.
Pirates: “We arrrrrrrr not amused!”
They were convinced someone along the Atlantic City boardwalk had their buried treasure. They went on a hunt to find out who had their treasure….
Pirates: “Where ye be hidin’ arrrrrrr treasure!?! Tell us where it is or there’ll be trouble! Yarrrrr!”
Scuba duck: “I…I…don’t know what you are talking about…I haven’t seen any treasure…I swear!”
The pirates go terrorizing the entire boardwalk accosting one duckie at a time.
Pirates: “Give us arrrrrr treasure or we will be beatin’ it out o’ you! Yarrrr!”
Duckie: “Ahhhh!”
Pirates: “Where ye be hidin’ arrrr treasure!?! Yarrr!”
Snucki (short for Snooki duck): “Treasure? I don’t have any treasure. Do you have any pickles? And hurry it up cuz my bronzer’s leaking off my face.”
The pirates weren’t having any of her Jersey Shore nonsense. They chase her down the boardwalk….
Snucki: “Ahhhh! Stop chasing me! Do you know who I am!?! I’m Snucki!….Help me! Somebody help me!”
Just around the corner at Ducktown Tavern Zorro Ducks suspects someone needs his help.
Zorro Duck: “Did I just hear someone say ‘Help me, somebody help me?’ ”
Zorro Duck rushes to the boardwalk and stops the pirates in their tracks.
Zorro Duck: “Seems someone has lost their treasure.”
Pirates: “Where did ye find arrrr treasure!”
Zorro Duck: “I have my sources.”
Pirates: “Ahoy! You have been hidin’ arrrrr treasure all along! Later ye will be walkin’ the plank! But first, we be takin’ arrr treasure back! Yarrrr!
Zorro Duck: “We’ll see about that.”
…..and one by one Zorro Duck defeats all the pirates.
…and saves the day…and Snucki.
Snuckie: “Oh Zorro Duck! Thank you! Wanna go get a drink with a cute little guidette duck? We could pay the tab with all this treasure.”
Zorro Duck: “Maybe another time, Snucki. I’ve got some more crime to fight!”
And with that Zorro Duck is off to fight more crime. As for the treasure….Snucki uses it to buy fried pickles and cocktails that night for her and her friends. The End.
Zorro Duck’s Boardwalk Adventure
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Zorro Duck finds trouble on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. Who Arrrrrrrre the perpetrators this time? Who will need his help? Will it be “Snucki” (short for Snooki Duck)? Stay tuned later this week for another adventure of Zorro Duck….this time on the Jersey shore.
Zorro Duck and the case of the “Lost Duck”
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Let me preface this post by saying that I was not responsible for posting all the “Lost Duck” signs all over the city and I have no clue who is responsible for hanging them. I find them to be brilliant, but you could say that I am a little biased 
Anyway, a few of my friends told me about the signs and it gave me an idea….another adventure for Zorro Duck. So I made up some “Found Duck” signs. I searched out some of the “Lost Duck” signs today and posted my “Found Duck” along side them. I want to thank the person-wherever you are-for inspiring this story of Zorro Duck and the case of the “Lost Duck”……….and I hope you find your rubber duck
Today as Zorro Duck flies through Gotham City he comes upon a sign outside the Village Voice head quarters.
Zorro Duck : “It appears that a rubber duck is lost in the city! This looks like a job for Zorro Duck! I must find this little lost guy!”
Zorro Duck starts by searching the bowels of the subway.
Zorro Duck: “It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it!”
After having no luck in the subway, Zorro Duck scours the little shops on Canal Street.
Zorro Duck: “Excuse me little ladies, have you seen a wee little duck around here?”
Dolls : “No, we have not a duck around here…and if one were to come around here it would be served with duck sauce.”
Zorro Duck: “Ahh! Those dolls weren’t joking! I must hurry my search and high tail it out of here!”
Zorro Duck: “More signs!”
Meanwhile……..the lost duck waddles the streets…”Squeak, squeak.”
Zorro Duck: “Wait….did I just hear someone say, “squeak, squeak?”
“Squeak, squeak!”
Zorro Duck follows the squeaking all the way to the Kid Robot store.
Zorro Duck: “There you are, little lost duck!”
Lost Duck: “Zorro Duck! Am I glad to see you! I was couped up in the bathroom all winter long and wanted to go for a summer stroll…and then I couldn’t find my way back home!”
Zorro Duck: “Well let’s get you home…stat!”
The End
Zorro Duck in the Big Easy
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What quackery lurks in the Big Easy? Read on and find out for yourself as Zorro Duck fights crime in New Orleans….
Cajun Clyde: “This is the place! This is the place that sells the golden Mardi Gras beads! Let’s go get them, Mardi Mallard!”
Mardi Mallard: “I’ve got them! Finally nabbed them when no one was looking! Ahahaha, quack!”
Cajun Clyde: “Now we can take these golden beads beads and fly to South America where we will trade them for lots of money!”
Mardi Mallard: “Yes! We will live like rich free birds! But first let’s celebrate! Ahahaha, quack!”
Unfortunately the villianous fowls get too drunk and forget the golden beads.
Canard Claudette: “I must have taken a wrong turn…too many frozen Hurricanes I suppose…heeheehee…what’s this?”
Canard Claudette: “Oh, pretty golden beads!”
The villianous fowls go looking for the golden beads when they realized their stupidity.
Cajun Clyde: “Uh huh! I found them!”
Mardi Mallard: “Give us those beads or else!”
Canard Claudette: “No! Never!”
Cajun Clyde: “Then we will have to take them ourselves!”
Canard Claudette: “Help me! Somebody help me!”
Zorro Duck: “Did I just hear someone say ‘Help me, somebody help me?”
Zorro Duck flies in to save the day.
Zorro Duck: “Leave this madmoiselle alone or else!”
Cajun Clyde: “Or else what!?”
Mardi Mallard: “Yeah, what? Ahaha, quack!”
Zorro Duck: “Or else I will have to kick both your Big Easy butts!”
The villainous fowls think they can take Zorro Duck….but they are no match for him. He didn’t even need his sword!
The villainous fowls take off running. Once again Zorro Duck save the day.
Canard Claudette: “Zorro Duck! You are my hero!”
Zorro Duck: “All in a days work, mademoiselle! Now go return the golden beads to the Jewerly store and you will be rewarded at the next Mardi Gras with thousands of beads!”
Canard Claudette: “Will do!” *Smoooooooch*
She gives him a smooch and returns the golden beads to the jewelry store and Zorro Duck flies off to his next adventure.
La Fin.
Snow Day
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“Hey, Susie Snowboard! It’s snowing out today! Let’s go hit the city stoops!”
“Weeeeeee! Nothing like stoop skiing and snowboarding!”
Later that day……….
Ducktown Tavern Adventures
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Tartyann: “This way! This way, Cheese! Look what I have found!”
Tartyann: “It’s a duck tavern right in the heart of Atlantic City! Hee!”
Cheese: “Wow! Ducktown Tavern! How did they know we were coming?!”
Tartyann: “And they are open 24 hours! Sounds like my kind of place! Heehee!”
Tartyann: “And there are rules to be broken. Rules are for the birds…well , except for us birds! Heeheehee.”
Cheese: “I wonder if there are any early bird specials?”
Cheese: “Three Happy Hours a day!!!! Now that puts a smile on my beak, quack!”
Atlantic City Adventures
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Poker Duck: “All aboard the ACES train! It’s off to AC we go, quack!”
Poker Duck: “Now……off to the casino for a little Texas Hold ‘em!”
Ducksino: “Come in this house if you are a high rolling double down duck!”
Vegas Baby: “Don’t mind if I do!”
Cheese Duck: “Looks like we are on our own today on the boardwalk. The locals aren’t sharing their food today.”Senseis Save the Day
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HiYa Duck: “I am the sensei!”
Kung Pao Duck: “No! I am sensei!”
HiYa: “This town is not big enough for the both of us!”
Kung Pao: “Then you leave! You just bloated bird full of hot air!”
It looks like there may be a karate chop showdown……Cue music of The Good The Bad and The Ugly…
And just across the street on a city stoop…
Joe Bob Cowduck: “Hey Buck…where is your red cowboy hat?….and what are we doing on a stoop in the middle of Manhattan? “
Buck Duck: “I think we flew too far north….Yup…..my hat….Some asian duck swiped it off my head, I think….yup.”
Just as HiYa and Kung Pao were getting ready to karate chop each other……along comes trouble.
TartyAnn: “Ahhhh! Can you two help a wee little Scottish duck out? Save me from those devious devil ducks!”
Kung Pao: “Stop right there. You no match for Sensei Kung Pao!”HiYa: “Mess with me and I will strike with my my signature wing smack!”
Devil Ducks: “Ahahahaha!”
Feathers fly…
And HiYa and Kung Pao manage to chase off the devils with a series of karate chops.
TartyAnn: “Thank you both! All that running’s made me a thirsty bird. I’m off to the pub for a pint of Red MacGregor. See you two later!”
As for the cowducks….Buck Cowduck got his red cowboy hat back and they flew the stoop.Joe Bob Cowduck: “Time to head back to the range.”
Buck Duck: “Yup.”
And HiYa and Kung Pao continued to argue over who is the sensei.
HiYa: “I am the sensei!”
Kun Pao: “I am sensei!”…..
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