NYPDuck: “Respect my authority!”
By 2g1c2 girls 1 cup
It’s Friday, and you know what that means! Another “Duck walks into a bar” joke! So, here you go:
A Julius Caesar duck walks into a bar. “I’ll have a martinus,” he says. The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, “Don’t you mean a ‘martini’?”
“Look,” Caesar retorts, “If I wanted a double, I’d have asked for it!”
Here is a close look inside a factory that produces rubber ducks.. It looks like those rubber ducks are getting a little shut eye before being shipped off Squeak dreams!
photo by: Freddie Jiang
A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.
“Hey duck! Nice tail feathers!” it says.
The duck looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice again.
“Hey duck! Sweet sombrero! ”
Again, the duck looks around and sees nothing. Baffled by the phantom voice, he calls the bartender over.
“Hey barkeep, what is that high-pitched voice I keep hearing?”
“Oh, those are the peanuts,” replies the bartender. “They’re complimentary.”
I found these funny little videos on the internet made by Wizard of Wit. They are from the “Mouth Organ Karaoke” collection. Get ready to quack up! This one is a parody of “Stayin’ Alive.”
And here another called “Super Beak”…..
And yet another one for all you Grease fans out there:
Quacky weekend everyone!
A duck walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waiter, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a menu.” When he returns with the drink, the duck asks “Still servin’ breakfast?” When he says Yes, the duck replies, “Then I’ll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon-well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee.” Indignantly the waiter says, “We don’t serve that kinda stuff in here!” The duck says, “Funny… that’s what I had in here yesterday…”
In the spirit of the Royal Wedding, I thought I would post a little wedding pic. Since I couldn’t attend the royal wedding I suppose this is the next best thing…A Vegas wedding. Hope they live duckily every after!
Ducky Gaga at the Grammy’s red carpet encased in an egg with prosthetic wings.
Ducky Gaga: “Baby, I was born this way!”
Ducky Gaga: “I’m just trying to change the world, one sequin at a time.”
I couldn’t help but supply little Easter egg humor for everyone….with ducks, of course.
Bunny: “These eggs are both made by Cadbury, but one is clearly larger than the other.”
Cowduck: “You got that right, partner.”
Bunny: “You see…this one is from Australia and that one is from America….but the Australian one is bigger.”
Cowduck: “Everything’s bigger in Texas….but this egg isn’t from Texas….it’s from Australia.”
Bunny: “Perhaps we should compare them by taste…..”
Bunny: “My Cadbury egg is delicious! How’s yours, Cowduck?”
Cowduck: “Nom, nom, nom. I’ll tell you what….this one may be smaller…but it’s still down right tasty.”
Bunny: “Yeah. My Cadbury egg tastes much better than this carrot I’m holding……Say, Cowduck…..does it look bad that we are eating eggs….we are ducks, after all.”
Cowduck: “I wish I knew how to quit you, chocolate.”
A duck, a rabbi, and Jesus walk into a bar. The bartender says, “what can I get you guys to drink?” The duck and the rabbi say, “We’ll have a glass of wine.” The bartender gives them each a glass of wine and asks Jesus, “would you also like a glass of wine?.” Jesus replies, “No, I’ll just have a glass of water.”
….a little holiday humor